I think this is getting ready to get harder.Right now, the little bugger pretty much just sleeps and eats. She's really not awake very often. But I read that once preemies hit their "actual" due date (Feb 27), they sort of wake up. So that means all this quiet time, which is boring as hell for me by the way, is getting ready to end. I'm ok with that I think, but boy, she can really squeal when she's mad so if that becomes a constant, I'll probably yearn for the quiet boring times!
She's getting cuter every day. I look at her all the time and each time I'm in awe as much as the last. I never thought a little baby could make me smile so much.
As for me and how I'm doing... well, it's up and down. I want my body back. This fat, jiggly me with big floppy udders just doesn't suit me. I went to the gym tonight, struggled to do 25 minutes but at least it's a start. It's harder than when I first started exercising 10 years ago. Back then, I had no expectations of myself. Now I know exactly what I should be able to do. Patience is not my strong point when it comes to this sort of thing.
All the women that kept telling me "sleep when she sleeps" must have had an assistant to help out. I have tried that for the past couple days and jeezus. When would I ever get anything done? Cory took the 8 a.m. feeding so I slept until 11 with her. Which meant I was several hours overdue for pumping, which makes me anxious. So I get up, give her a bottle and put her to sleep. By this time, Cory comes home for lunch and takes her, so I start pumping. It's 1:00 p.m. or so and I have not eaten, taken my meds, had a single drink of any kind or peed. When I say not getting anything done, I ain't talkin' about the dishes. It's frustrating. So clearly, I need to get up at 8 with Cory whether I'm feeding her or not.
(By the way, the breastfeeding thing isn't working so well for us, which is why I am always pumping, pumping, pumping... so far we haven't had to supplement with formula and I want to keep giving her my milk for as long as I can stand it).
10 comments:
Spend all the time with her, screw everything else.
These are the cutest ones yet!! I love the one of the two of you togther. Sweetness :o)
I think that it is alot more work for babies to breastfeed than to eat from a bottle. Once Andrew had had a bottle on a regular basis, he started refusing to nurse. He would throw a screaming fit. Not fun in the middle of the night. I feel for you. I didn't last very long after I went to exclusive pumping. You are doing great. I also love the picture of the two of you.
You do what you can. You want what's best for her but you need to think of your body too. I did a lot of pumping and people just don't realize how much work it is. Have you talked to a lactation specialist about it? Sometimes they can really be helpful. One of our secretaries here is a former lactation consultant and I'd be happy to give you her email. She helped me a bunch with rachel- who never mastered latching on.
The body takes a long time to get back. It is so awesome that you are up to 25 minutes! Have you read the girlfriend's guide to the first year? A hoot but also full of very practical body advise. Vicki Ionine (the author) notes that it takes 9 months to have a baby and at least that long to get your body back. You'll make it!
Melissa
I've heard it takes 5 years for your body to return to normal internally. I'm just NOW recovering from having Tommy, then, he'll be 5 next month, but I've had one since and another is on the way.... but take heart. The smooshy tummy DOES go away. The boobies go away too. That's the crappy part. They go WAY away.
The difference between bottle feeding and nursing is that with a bottle, the milk just basically runs into their mouth. With nursing, they have to pull on it until they get letdown, then they are dealing with foremilk, which is high in carbs but very thin. The satisfying, belly-filling hindmilk takes a few minutes, and a bottlefed baby is used to having it all right up front.
Nipple confusion is another thing. Nurslings have to work to get the nipple to extend into their mouths, while that rubber nipple just pops back in there and satisfies the sucking instinct immediately.
I'd come give you some pointers... but I live in Bedford TX. I nursed my son Tommy for 2 years, Gabbi for 18 months... but I never had a moment's luck with pumping, and my very first baby had bad nipple confusion and never was able to successfully nurse. I have been on both ends of the scale.
Suggestion - call LLL. They can help you, and may even be able to send a certified lactation consultant to you. Or a midwife - many of them are lactation experts as well. Keep trying, mama. And BIG kudos for keeping up with the pumping - she needs that natural mama-milk more than anything.
*sigh* I think it really messed her up by having that nipple shield on at first. The lactation consultant in OKC recommended it, and she really was doing ok, only I don't think she was latched on right because it hurt so bad. Then I talked to the lc here that I know from the hospital and she said NOT to use the nipple shield because she'd never nurse without it AND it causes so much friction on my nipples. So I quit using it. (It was very frustrating anyway, she kept knocking it off). So now, no nursing. She barely opens her mouth, takes it in and then makes the most hilarious "Gross, Mommy!" face...
Well, don't give up on her just yet. I never tried the shields but honestly nursing does hurt like hell when they start. Good ole Rachel never held her bottom lip right (I learned this after she no longer nursed btw) so I bled on the right side for the entire 9 months that I nursed. Stubbornness is a pain.
But you need a real pro to work with you. Those LCs can be awesome. Sounds like the one in stw is a little more with it (I thought the shields were only for inverted nipples anyways). She (lc) should be able to make recommendations that are creative and get your cutie to stop making the "gross" face. Which I bet is pretty cute, btw. She is so darn adorable.
-Melissa
I meant to include that both of the girls would nurse or take a bottle. I think that if you can get her to nurse (which may entail her being a bit hungrier than normal) then she'll catch on. But if she doesn't you need to give yourself permission to not be disappointed and not judge yourself it you don't feed her breastmilk as long as you wanted to. Hang in there. You are doing an amazing job.
There is a yahoo group called pumpmoms, which is made up of mostly women who pump exclusively. They have some great tips. I used it since I pumped at work and had some issues with supply. We had to supplement with a bottle or two of formula a day. Alex is still really healthy, so any breastmilk she gets will benefit her. Hang in there and endulge yourself by spending as much time with her as possible because when it is all said and done the house and mess will still be there, but you can't relive these precious moments.
Sleep whenever you sleep. I also found the "sleep when they sleep" advice to be ridiculously unhelpful!!
Kelly
Thanks ladies! She is getting a shot tomorrow and the home health nurse who is coming is my lc so maybe after tomorrow we'll get on track.
Wish us luck!
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