Nothing Nipple Related, I Promise

What we have learned since February 3, 2008:
Don't use saline to clean out her nose after she has just eaten.

Don't set her in her swing after meals either.

Little girls CAN projectile pee.

She has also been known to shoot poop across the room.

You can actually puke milk out of your nose. If I never see her do that again, I'll be happy. While it's funny in theory, the look on her face while she was puking was one of terror and shock, which sent Mommy to the other room bawling.

Newborn cries are kind of cute. Very loud, but cute. Who said this kids lungs were underdeveloped??

Newborn poop looks like mustard with some sesame seeds mixed in.

Changing a diaper is really no big deal. I don't know why I was so afraid of it.

Having your baby sleep on you is the best thing in the world.

Walking into the room and seeing Daddy sound asleep with his arm draped over the bassinet is an image I will cherish forever and ever.

Newborns, and especially preemies, sleep a LOT.

Mommy staying home is a treat for us both, but if not for the internet, Mommy might go nuts

In other news, I forked out $202 today for a shot for the little one. She is at high risk for RSV because being a preemie. It's expensive, but both the nurses at Mercy and our doctor recommended it. The shot is actually $900 before insurance... ouch. Thank goodness for insurance. I dread her getting the shot though. She'll probably not even flinch, she got so used to being poked and prodded in the hospital. :(

I finally cleaned out her crib and put sheets on, even though she won't be sleeping in there for awhile. I put her in it the other day because she was kind of restless and I was tired of trying to hold her. I read her a couple stories while she laid there and looked around. She seemed pretty content with that. She sure looks little in that big ol' crib though!

I got jealous of Cory's sling so ordered myself one. The day it arrived, I also got one as a gift in the mail. Pisser of it is I didn't know you bought by YOUR size, not baby size, so instead of small, me needs a large. So they both have to be returned. Boo.

Mostly Uneventful

I think this is getting ready to get harder.

Right now, the little bugger pretty much just sleeps and eats. She's really not awake very often. But I read that once preemies hit their "actual" due date (Feb 27), they sort of wake up. So that means all this quiet time, which is boring as hell for me by the way, is getting ready to end. I'm ok with that I think, but boy, she can really squeal when she's mad so if that becomes a constant, I'll probably yearn for the quiet boring times!

She's getting cuter every day. I look at her all the time and each time I'm in awe as much as the last. I never thought a little baby could make me smile so much.

As for me and how I'm doing... well, it's up and down. I want my body back. This fat, jiggly me with big floppy udders just doesn't suit me. I went to the gym tonight, struggled to do 25 minutes but at least it's a start. It's harder than when I first started exercising 10 years ago. Back then, I had no expectations of myself. Now I know exactly what I should be able to do. Patience is not my strong point when it comes to this sort of thing.

All the women that kept telling me "sleep when she sleeps" must have had an assistant to help out. I have tried that for the past couple days and jeezus. When would I ever get anything done? Cory took the 8 a.m. feeding so I slept until 11 with her. Which meant I was several hours overdue for pumping, which makes me anxious. So I get up, give her a bottle and put her to sleep. By this time, Cory comes home for lunch and takes her, so I start pumping. It's 1:00 p.m. or so and I have not eaten, taken my meds, had a single drink of any kind or peed. When I say not getting anything done, I ain't talkin' about the dishes. It's frustrating. So clearly, I need to get up at 8 with Cory whether I'm feeding her or not.

(By the way, the breastfeeding thing isn't working so well for us, which is why I am always pumping, pumping, pumping... so far we haven't had to supplement with formula and I want to keep giving her my milk for as long as I can stand it).

Anyway, the time goes by so fast! Before I know it, it's 5:00 and my day at home alone with the baby has ended. Honestly, I spent most of my time just holding her and staring at her, and I surf. I keep telling myself that I need to be more productive, then I rationalize that she's only going to be this size once, so who cares what doesn't get done?

Bath Time for Kaia

Daily Dose of Cute

The green pants on the left are Kaia-sized. The pink ones on the right are "0-3 months" sized... Just to give you a little perspective on how teeny tiny she is right now. But she is growing!

:)

Aunt Candice and Uncle Mark liked holding the little one, though I think they thought they might break her. Trust me, if Cory & I haven't, no one else will!

I'm 3 Weeks Old!

So, about sleep...

You know, about the only thing I love more than eating and riding my bike is sleeping. In fact, sometimes the only reason I get ON my bike and ride for hours is because I know the amazing nap I'll have when I get back. When Cory & I first were training for the Ride for the Roses, we talked about the glory of the post-ride cycling nap. Every Sunday, we'd get back, all sweaty and icky and tired and hungry, and we'd hit El Tap and then go sleep. It was the deepest "my body is exhausted" sleep ever and it was fabulous.

Now, several years later, here we are, operating on just a couple hours a night. Jerm will be happy to know that our house, once kept a cool, comforting 68, is now set at 78. The little one has no body fat, she's got to stay warm. We used to complain that our dark brown curtains didn't block out enough daylight when we wanted to sleep in. Now we sleep with the lamp on so we can see the little one when we need to. Oh how times have changed!

Personally, I wish we could skip this part. I'm a 10 hours a night girl. I can sleep in the car, on the couch, on a plane, sitting upright, as I discovered in the wee hours this morning... I love my sleep. And I miss it. I don't function well without it.

So Kaia, when you are older and you read all our posts in your baby book, know how much we loved you from the get-go, we gave up our favorite things for you: halo and sleep.

About anxiety...

Without sleep, my anxiety seems to be worse. Sometimes I just have these moments of panic... like I feel like I'm rushing but I don't know why. I mean, where do I have to be? This morning, i was trying to hurry up and dress the little one, do the routine you know, and it just didn't go well. Started to put on the new diaper, she peed everywhere. Diaper thingie was full, couldn't get her arms through the little sleeves... I was taking way too long to get her to her breakfast. I give her the mandatory stinky vitamin with a little milk and she guzzles it. Then throws it up all over the shirt I just struggled to get on her. By the time I finally got her clothed and not smelling like stinky vitamin, she was really too tired to eat. I got up and noticed the house. God, shit everywhere. Clothes, washcloths, blankets, baby bottles... our dining room table is perpetually covered with trash, paper and random bullshit. I thought my head might explode. I actually started to sweat.

And I wonder why I have had a headache all day?

I could never do this without Cory. I'm not sure how any woman is able to do this without a supportive spouse, though I know it happens all the time. I'm just not strong enough to do it. Thank goodness I don't have to.

Kaia says "Caption that photo!"

This one's especially for Toshya...











And this one is for Uncle Jay:

Baby's First Doc Appt.

"Nurse Delores put my footprints in Mommy's pink baby book. I liked Nurse Delores. She said my Daddy reminded her of her son-in-law. I don't really know what that means but she was really nice to me.

Aunt Candice bought the baby book for Mommy. She will get to keep all kinds of memories and pictures in it from my first year of life. She'll probably cry when she reads it when I'm older. My Mommy isn't really very sentimental but I make her cry a lot these days. She tells me they are happy, proud tears. I guess that's good. I don't really make tears when I cry so I don't understand.

Anyway, today was a day of "firsts" so I'll let Mommy explain..."

We met our pediatrician today, Kaia had her first appointment. Our doctor is really nice, I liked her a lot. She basically came in, looked her over, listened to her lungs and heart and told us she was perfect! She also said she was really strong which makes me happy. :) The best news is that she has finally surpassed her birth weight!! She gained 5 oz. since coming home with Mommy and Daddy and is at 4 lbs. 13 oz.

We also gave her a bath today, it was a pathetic attempt really but at least her little tushy and her widdle head smells good. :)

Official Hospital Photos!

I'll post about our first two nights soon, but for now, wanted to let you all know the hospital photos are up on the Mercy site.

Make sure you search under her birthday, January 22, 2008, and click on full details so you can see all of the pictures. :)

OMG

So the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived... we are rooming in tonight and taking Kaia home tomorrow. We're sitting in our little room right now, Kaia is in her plastic bassinet, unhooked from monitors and sleeping soundly. I just scarfed down dinner (hospital variety) and Cory is now trying to manage to eat his without complaining.

Ever since they called this morning, I've been one big ball of anxiety. I think I managed to fall back asleep after hearing the news but I'm not sure how. I am terrified. Is she too hot? Is she too cold? Is she wheezing? Is she still breathing? Should we talk normally? Should we be quiet? The list is endless. We are ready to have her home but at the same time... how do you sleep?

I was expecting to breastfeed her tonight, but the lactation consultant can't make it until tomorrow, so 11 a.m., we're going to give it a go. It sure would be nice to get to nurse her instead of pumping all the time. There is just no reward in that! Well, there is, she's still getting the good stuff. But you know. I'm not looking to bond with an electric device.

Anyway, this time tomorrow, we'll be at home with our beautiful baby girl. Freaking out.

Wish us well, love you guys!