I think everyone in the bloop is well aware of our stance on religion but I don't think I've ever talked that much about it in a serious manner. Usually just snide comments here and there, which are oh-so-fun for me to do. :)
But now, there is a little one on the way, and I've been thinking a lot lately about how we are going to answer her questions about church, holidays, etc. and at first, it really stressed me out, but you know what? I realized today that Cory & I are going to be great parents and we are going to raise our daughter with a few fundamental beliefs that we share: think for yourself, always ask questions, be kind to others, have an open mind and an open heart, embrace education. If at some point, she comes home and says she wants to go to church, we will honor that. But since it is not a belief that Cory & I share, we aren't going to be hypocritical about acting like we believe it just to make other people happy. We have no intention of baptizing her, which is likely going to create some waves in our families.
Of course, if they can come up with a good reason for doing so, I'd be open to it. I just don't think there is one.
I'm also going to face "Why don't you have daddy's last name?" to which I have a reply ready as well. I had to consult a good friend who shares my liberal views and is a Mom herself, and she had the best response... "be honest."
I guess that's what Cory & I hope to do as parents: be as honest as we can and hope that our daughter grows up respecting our opinions and beliefs. And I hope she realizes that if her beliefs are polar opposite of ours, that's ok. We'll love her anyway. :)
11 comments:
You two will make incredible parents.
I've worried about the exact same thing and personally came to the same conclusion. Raise her to think for herself and then respect her ideas.
I had no idea that you two didn't share the last name. Interesting.
I wouldn't worry about the religion thing. It seems to me that more and more people have different ideas than traditional. Yeah it may seem that way because of the media. Really, just ask around. I'm actually having a little trouble explaining why I don't celebrate xmas to my co-workers. I guess I will play it by ear.
Don't worry, you two will do great.
What will she do when she learns her daddy is a jackass? : )
I have never doubted you would make great parents and don't sweat the small stuff. This is about the two of you deciding what you want and sticking together. They can like it or not but its your decision. Therapist told me that one.
LOL, she will discover that sooner or later, won't she? Oh well, he'll be our jackass.
Just for the record tho, I suspect one Cory Cheney to be softhearted and completely smitten. His daughter is going to melt his heart.
:)
Of course. He will be wrapped around her little finger. Welcome to having to be the bad parent.
I decided today being an aunt/uncle is the next best thing to being a grandparent and full expect to spoil her rotten at every chance.
I'd love it if I didn't have my husband's name. He absolutely freaked out when I suggested hyphenating our son's name. So for the sake of continuity, I ended up taking the name, too. Bad call. No one can pronounce it.
As for the religion issue, you have the absolute best plan - open mind, open heart, learn and then follow the path best meant for you. It's what I strive to teach my kids. At least you guys are in agreement with it. It's hard when one parent believes that but the other thinks it's evil. (He's not religious, but thinks that if I believe anything at all, it HAS to be Christian. Talk about hypocrisy...)
You don't need religious dogma to help you be good parents or to teach your child to be moral and ethical... of course you'll be amazing parents :)
I thought you hyphenated for some reason... what's the baby's last name going to be?
Toshya
I'm thinking she gets her own special last name. Something like Lipschitts.
(that's a joke)
I'll only say that if you give her a hyphenated last name, the child will have at least one day every school year where she won't be very happy.
There are quite a few blocks to fill in on the information page of standardized testing answer forms.
Don't worry, she gets to be a Cheney.
And then like me she will dream of the day she gets married and changes her last name. I always wished for Brown, Smith, Jones, etc. easy to pronounce. So much for that dream. ; )
NEW POST, please.
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