The First Appointment

Let me begin by saying I love my doctor. She is young, active, fit... the cutest little hippie-looking, Sheryl Crow-esque woman. She and her husband are cyclists, so you know, it’s like a perfect fit for me to have a doctor who understands that I am NOT likely to stop working out just because I’m pregnant. In fact, I’m viewing this as an opportunity to finally start taking responsibility for our nutritional habits. Gotta eat healthy now, there’s a little brain forming inside of me.

Anyway, we go in, not expecting to really find out anything because the appointment was made for other reasons a couple of weeks back. The “other reasons,” just for the record, are that my thyroid no longer functions properly so my metabolism, energy level, etc. are out the door. Which is why I’m no longer a perky size 6-8 and I could sleep for days on end and then go take a nap.

She starts asking questions about when my last period was, and I tell her in all honesty, I’m not really sure. Other than the last 6 months, I’ve been on the same birth control pill since I was 18. I never had to keep track of that girly stuff, it always happened like clockwork. And it also barely happened at all – I mean, light and short and pain free so I’m one of the lucky ones.

She decides to go ahead and do an ultrasound to see how far along I am.

“Go ahead and take off your bottoms. I’ll go get the ultrasound.”

Cory looks as though he might faint. I’m not sure if it’s the kidney stone or the appointment, but either way, his comfort level is long gone. He looks at me undressing, looks at the stirrups, and back at me.

“I don’t understand!!”

I laughed. “Well, me either, but apparently, she ain’t rubbin’ cold gel on my belly...”

Doc comes back in wheeling a cart. She puts gel on what she refers to as the “magic wand.”

Uh, yeah. That’s definitely going inside of me. It looks like a vibrator. A really big one. Connected to a computer screen. Can’t get that at Christy’s Toybox.

Cory moves so he can stand next to my head instead of the stirrups. We hold hands. She digs around in there for awhile, not saying anything. Suddenly, I get nervous that maybe the tests were wrong.

The doc calmly speaks. “Oh, I had my wand upside down. There we are. Much better.”

Cory & I laugh. I wonder if she just does that sort of thing to break the ice. I hope not.

“You definitely had a normal period last month... this tiny little black speck, that’s the sac. You are definitely pregnant! 4 weeks, 5 days. It’s too early to really see anything but we’ll take a look again next week.”

She tells me to go get a blood test to check my hormone levels and then do it again on Wednesday. Apparently, pregnancy hormones are supposed to double every 48 hours. So I’m going to be getting stuck a lot. And doubling hormones probably mean sick a lot. I hope I can handle this...

The Home Test

I couldn't wait until later. I decided to take the test after lunch at El Tapatio. Cory made his way to his bathroom while I made my way for mine.

"You know you'll probably find out you're pregnant while I'm in the crapper."

You know Cory. Ever the romantic.

It's not like we haven't done this test before. Go pee on a stick, look at stick two minutes later to see a big fat minus sign. As in you are minus any eggs, you old lady.

I peed, then got online to check my email. I had a lengthy one from my sister so I got into reading that when I realized I'd forgotten about the test. I ran to the bathroom, thinking to myself, "I just need to tell him, all my eggs have dried up. We should stop wasting money on EPT."

I picked up the test and saw two faint lines instead of one.

HUH?

I smiled, kind of fiendishly, because I knew I was going to tell Cory some of the most exciting news he's ever heard while he was taking a post-Mexican food dump.

"Cory? Uh... you were right."

"About what?"

"That I'm going to tell you I'm pregnant while you're on the crapper."

"What? No shit? Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I need you to come look at this. It looks like a plus sign to me..."