i think i've got the blues. this isn't good for someone who is already on anti-depressants. the job stress really has me worried. i was looking at the medical bills today, i've been trying desperately to keep current on all of them, and i thought, 'oh god. what if i lose my job?' In this economy, I don't know how easy it would be for me to find a job FAST. I'd be overqualified for much of what is in Stillwater, but also, I just don't know if I have the energy to do the 8-5 thing again. i've been so spoiled by working in a gym, then setting my own hours, that it would/will be major upheaval to go back to a "normal" schedule, "normal" work attire, "normal" boss breathing down my neck. UGH. the mere thought of it has me terrified.
My boss told me of a job coming up but I don't think I want it. I fluctuate between being angry and wanting to quit because how dare they not thing my job is important? and being desperate and wanting to plead to keep it. I have imaginary conversations with members of the board where I basically tell them to stick it. the reality of course is that we can't afford for me to tell anyone to stick it.
I'm open to working elsewhere, but if I'm able to stay with SMC it's better for my retirement. I'll be fully vested at seven years, which is only about 18 months from now.
Anyway, I'm just depressed and stressed and still not feeling 100%. We came home from Kaia's doc appointment today and snuggled into the guest bed and took a two-hour nap.
Growin' up gorgeous
6 comments:
:( I am with you. Except I'm already unemployed and desperate... no significant other to help out, getting deeper in debt. It just sucks.
I've been so out of it for so long that I have made myself ill.
I've been a lot better this week. I started reading "The Power of Positive Thinking" and it helps. Plus I see my co-worker being 24 and having a hysterectemy (sp) and I have to remember that things could be worse.
I'm close to giving up my job but am holding tight as I can until I get myself together.
Hang in there. You have to remember the things that you do have and that is a lot. All the rest is just small things in life.
*hugs*
true, Cory & I both just come home beaten down, and then Kaia smiles at us and nothing else seems to matter. :) Sometimes that is hard to remember but it really does make our day.
I'm sorry you both are feeling down too. Hopefully things will pick up for all of us!
I know its cheesy but I try to remember everything happens for a reason. I also have a book where I try to write every other day or so 5 things I'm grateful for. It helps keep me on the right track and make sure I don't take the little things for granted.
As someone who's been on meds for a long time I can tell you sometimes meds alone aren't enough. Sometimes you need someone to talk to in addition to the meds.
You know if things ever got too crazy you would all have somewhere to stay with any of your family members and help as long as you need it.
I'm on the debt wagon too! And no job in sight...
At least we're all in good company!:}
You may be over qualified but in a market like this I think it is better to be over than under since there are so many others applying for the same job.
{{{Big Hugs}}} I wish I knew what to say and do... {{{More Hugs}}}
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