When I was at target yesterday, I was noticing the (most-likely) stay-at-home-moms that were there and I think it was the beginning of my undoing last night. You’re going to think I’m completely insane but you might already so what the hell.
It hit me like a freight train that I’m just like them. Ordinary. I used to feel like I was different and special… in my 30s doing all these great athletic events, going out, acting like I was still young and hot and fun… so yesterday, as I’m staring down these poor women in their workout clothes, it hits me: I’m not so special. I’m really no different than they are.
I stare at a computer all day and do nothing at a job, I go home and try to squeeze in a workout so I can try to lose weight and get my “old” self back, I take care of/play with/fight with Kaia trying to get her to eat/sleep/etc., eat, sit down for maybe half an hour then give up and go to bed. Rinse, repeat. I am only ever going to be “special” to my daughter (and Cory) and that will not last forever. One day, she will realize that I’m only human and just like everyone else. Bored. And boring. And struggling to find importance in anything that I do.
And that was just the beginning of my meltdown. My 8th anniversary meltdown.
Growin' up gorgeous
7 comments:
Steph- You are SPECIAL! You are an awesome mom to an amazing and beautiful little girl and I am sure Cory can tell you what a wonderful wife you are! I have always looked up to you because of what you have done. Athletic events, college degree, and just being who you are.
aw, you just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for saying such nice things. :) I appreciate it!
You're missing the point - it's the ordinary things in life and our appreciation of them that makes us special! I was blowing dandelions with Adam this weekend and it was making him smile and laugh - what an ordinary thing but how special! Don't you forget that.
Steph, I just wish you saw yourself through our eyes. I too look up to you. The way you are with Kaia has reassured me about being a mom despite my childhood in a way no one else could. You are so perfect for my brother it fills my heart. Never think Kaia and Cory are the only ones that think you are special and you will never be boring and unimportant.
You are an awesome mommy and a wonderful friend. I love you just the way you are.
Might I also add that secret agents, ninjas, and other supercool folks such as ourselves enjoy partaking in the super low prices at Target. I'm sure they go in their workout clothes, too. Point being, you can't tell what someone's story is by looking at them when they're buying toilet paper. Of course you're special and awesome and have/will accomplish a lot in your life!
You're special to me too.
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